Hi, sweet family of faith!!! We are very blessed as children of faith in life with Jesus because in that, we each one have our own personal caretaker – Jesus with us individually. He gives us choice in life to follow Him and His heart for us is to live free in Him, not controlled by another person nor in bondage to sin and its destruction. That doesn’t mean that He doesn’t give us leaders to lead us in life, but in that following of a leader and in being the leader, we must always respect that each person is free as an individual to choose for oneself. In those choices, however, we as people need to realize that there are consequences to our choices. Hence, one must weight the consequences of their personal choices. For example, if we grab the hot handle of a frying pan, it is our choice, but we must realize it’s gonna hurt and we will be burned!!! YIKES!!! WATCH OUT!!! IT’S HHHOOOTTT!!! OUCH!!! OOOCCCHHH!!! SIZZLE THE SKIN!!! PAIN DANCING IMMEDIATE BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT NERVES!!! LEARN ABOUT HOT PADS QUICKLY!!! 🙂
Just as we can choose with knowledge not to hurt ourselves by our choice of grabbing onto something that can hurt us such as a hot frying pan, here are some examples of how we can help people to realize they have choices in our conversations when it is important to protect ourselves from harm from the choices of others. Not forcing others is in keeping with Christ’s giving of free will choice to us in choosing Him in life.
Forced choice says: “Stop yelling at me as you are. You have got to be nicer to me.”
Allowed choice says: “You can choose to yell all you want to, but I will not be in your presence while you are doing so.”
Forced choice says: “You have got to stop drinking because you are ruining our family. Please listen “You are wrecking our lives.”
Allowed choice says: “You may choose not to deal with your drinking, if you want. But I will not continue to expose me and the kids to the chaos it creates. The next time you are drunk, we will leave the house and go to the Does house and we will tell them why we are there. Your drinking is your choice. What I will put up with is my choice.
Forced choice says: “You are a pervert to look at pornography. That is so degrading to God’s original intended creation. What kind of person are you anyway?”
Allowed choice says: “I will not continue to share you sexually with others naked in magazines, online or in person. I will only be with a spouse who is interested in me. Make up your mind and choose.”
YIKES!!! These things may sound harsh in some ways, but they bring out the point that setting boundaries are not a way of controlling others, it is a way of protecting you from the sin of others and letting our Father guide your individual life choices. These are examples of taking divine power over what you have power over -yourself- and giving up seeking to control and have power over someone else.
I hope these thoughts help bring clarity about why boundaries are important in your life as it has done mine. Jesus has revealed Himself to me as the divine choices in life always!!! Jesus is my choice!!! Do you have a choice to make before you??? I encourage you to consider what Jesus says about it for the divine life!!! I love you tons as your sister in Him and desire the best for you!!! I love this song of freedom here.