Blessings of love to you, precious saints here with me!!! I am sooo thankful our Father has made us Kingdom family together and that we can work together to bring heaven to earth to bless our Father, bless each other and bless others. As I continue to share some generalized areas of ministry that each of us individually will typically step in and out of in the course of our life, today I am sharing thoughts for couples as taken from our Father’s Word. Diving right in – wooohooo, here we go and it is my heart that you will find our Father’s heart of love and light for your own heart as He speaks personally to you. It is with a heart that longs for all to be blessed that I share these things:
If you have a husband, God desires for you to be his helper, to assist and aid him (Genesis 2:18-25), to partner with him (1 Peter 3:7), to be a faithful companion (Exodus 20:14), to encourage him and build him up as a man (Proverbs 14:1, 1 Thessalonians 5:11), to meet his sexual needs and please him (1 Corinthians 7), to respect him and put forward his opinions as is fitting to the Lord (Colossians 3:18).
If you have a wife, God desires for you to love her as your own body, as yourself (Ephesians 5:33), be considerate of her and her opinions (1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5:21), encourage her and build her up as a woman ((1 Thessalonians 5:11), not being harsh with her (Colossians 3:19), loving her as Christ loves the church – giving himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25), treating her with respect (1 Peter 3:7), protecting her by your stronger physical abilities (1 Peter 3:7), meeting her sexual needs (1 Corinthians 7), being faithful to her (Exodus 20:14) so that nothing hinders your prayers (1 Peter 3:7).
God calls us all to consider the opinions of all people and to not seek our own good, but the good of others, but this does not mean to put them above God or become a participant in sin (Ephesians 5:21, 1 Corinthians 10:24 & 33, Proverbs 14:16a, Exodus 20:3).
We are also called to show proper respect to everyone (1 Peter 2:17). Respect is defined as “to consider deserving of high or special regard”. It is important to remember also, that if we desire the respect of others, we need to seek to be respectable – not making it difficult for people to respect us (1 Timothy 3:8, 11; 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 1 Thessalonians 4:12, Proverbs 11:16, Titus 2:2).
It is important to not take spouses for granted. Be thankful for your spouse (Colossians 3:15). If you find yourself focusing on negative thoughts about your spouse, take your thoughts captive to Christ and focus on “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8). An exercise that is helpful in doing this is to go through the alphabet and for each letter, state a word that begins with that letter that represents a true good quality about your spouse (for example: A – She adores me and my children, B – He is bold, C – He is courageous, etc… by the time you get to Z, you have 26 good reasons to admire your spouse. Have you ever considered that there are many lonely people in the world who would perhaps love to have your spouse? I see the sadness of lonely people all the time. Does any stranger walking down the street treat your spouse better than you do? Do you strive to be the “special someone” in your spouse’s life? Do you seek to minister to your spouse’s needs out of love even though they are not your needs? Do you realize that God loves your spouse as much as He loves you? Galatians 3:28 says in God’s eyes “There is neither male nor female.” He loves them both the same. God understands our spouses as unique individuals and He knows what will bless them, so ask Him to give you wisdom in how to bless your spouse.
Healthy marriages practice these things and seek to work as a team to “discern the best” (Philippians 1:10) and keep peace and harmony in their relationship (Proverbs 3:13-17). If differences are creating bitterness and resentment, marriage partners need to quickly (Ephesians 4:26-27) seek God’s wisdom through prayer (Psalm 119:25, James 1:5), the study of God’s Word and godly counsel (Proverbs 1:5, Proverbs 15:14 & 22, Proverbs 3:21) to resolve problems (Matthew 12:25) and restore peace (Hebrews 12:14).
Couples should also work together to manage their homes and children well (Proverbs 31:27, Titus 2:5, 1 Timothy 3:12). Ask God to show you the definition of “well”. Sometimes people can go to the extreme of “too perfect” and some are “too relaxed” in caring for their homes and children. We want to make it our aim to bring glory to God in the eyes of our neighbors and those who might enter into our homes. Consider also the feelings of your family about your home. What makes your home comfortable to them? What ministers to them and to others who are visiting? Is your family embarrassed about where and how they live? If so, ask your family why and work through it together as a family. It is good when your family loves to be home and they feel good about bringing home their friends instead of being out with friends where there are all sorts of temptations. When they are in your home, you know what they are doing and who they are with. This also gives you the opportunity to minister to them and show them the love of Christ.
While there is lots to ponder here, in it all, the Holy Spirit will guide you as an individual and move your heart in what is right as He promises:
“For it is God who works in us to will and to act according to His purpose.”
It is also important to understand that our Father understands each situation and sees His people thru eyes of love and grace and is always with His to guide. I love it that we can always approach our Father’s throne of grace with confidence to find help in all of life!!!
Married and parents??? Blessings to you!!! Sooo proud of you for your perseverance in the heart of Jesus in the center of your relationships!!! I greatly admire that in you!!! 🙂 One of the ways our Father shows us His love is in giving us relationships in life!!! Here is a song about His amazing love for us all whether married or single as the bride of Christ of which we all are as His church!!! Marriage is a model of our relationship with Jesus!!! It’s all a divine beautiful love story for sure!!! One that just makes me smile!!! 🙂
Hi, sweet family of faith!!! We are very blessed as children of faith in life with Jesus because in that, we each one have our own personal caretaker – Jesus with us individually. He gives us choice in life to follow Him and His heart for us is to live free in Him, not controlled by another person nor in bondage to sin and its destruction. That doesn’t mean that He doesn’t give us leaders to lead us in life, but in that following of a leader and in being the leader, we must always respect that each person is free as an individual to choose for oneself. In those choices, however, we as people need to realize that there are consequences to our choices. Hence, one must weight the consequences of their personal choices. For example, if we grab the hot handle of a frying pan, it is our choice, but we must realize it’s gonna hurt and we will be burned!!! YIKES!!! WATCH OUT!!! IT’S HHHOOOTTT!!! OUCH!!! OOOCCCHHH!!! SIZZLE THE SKIN!!! PAIN DANCING IMMEDIATE BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT NERVES!!! LEARN ABOUT HOT PADS QUICKLY!!! 🙂
Just as we can choose with knowledge not to hurt ourselves by our choice of grabbing onto something that can hurt us such as a hot frying pan, here are some examples of how we can help people to realize they have choices in our conversations when it is important to protect ourselves from harm from the choices of others. Not forcing others is in keeping with Christ’s giving of free will choice to us in choosing Him in life.
Forced choice says: “Stop yelling at me as you are. You have got to be nicer to me.”
Allowed choice says: “You can choose to yell all you want to, but I will not be in your presence while you are doing so.”
Forced choice says: “You have got to stop drinking because you are ruining our family. Please listen “You are wrecking our lives.”
Allowed choice says: “You may choose not to deal with your drinking, if you want. But I will not continue to expose me and the kids to the chaos it creates. The next time you are drunk, we will leave the house and go to the Does house and we will tell them why we are there. Your drinking is your choice. What I will put up with is my choice.
Forced choice says: “You are a pervert to look at pornography. That is so degrading to God’s original intended creation. What kind of person are you anyway?”
Allowed choice says: “I will not continue to share you sexually with others naked in magazines, online or in person. I will only be with a spouse who is interested in me. Make up your mind and choose.”
YIKES!!! These things may sound harsh in some ways, but they bring out the point that setting boundaries are not a way of controlling others, it is a way of protecting you from the sin of others and letting our Father guide your individual life choices. These are examples of taking divine power over what you have power over -yourself- and giving up seeking to control and have power over someone else.
I hope these thoughts help bring clarity about why boundaries are important in your life as it has done mine. Jesus has revealed Himself to me as the divine choices in life always!!! Jesus is my choice!!! Do you have a choice to make before you??? I encourage you to consider what Jesus says about it for the divine life!!! I love you tons as your sister in Him and desire the best for you!!! I love this song of freedom here.
Rejoicing as a bride of Christ today with you dear family!!! As I ponder that thought, I go back to the beginning when our Father created the first man Adam and placed him in the garden. This is what the Lord said of him:
“It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper “suitable” for him.”
Because of this vision that our Father had for man, He created a woman for him from his rib and His heart for them both is that they would be one flesh.
It was also His heart for both of them to have a personal relationship of love with Him as their creator. Together, they were His bride (the church) in its first creation. God did not want to be alone either; He created us for relationship with Him! He IS love! Now how sweet is He to want us in His life!!!
If you are a wife to a husband, it is our Father’s heart for you to be his helper, to assist and aid him. As our Father’s bride as saints, it is also our Father’s heart that we be His helpers, to assist and aid Him in carrying out His plan, His will and His purpose for us in life. We all get to be part of something great with Him for the cause of love! Now isn’t that awesome!!! Jesus has always desired to have people as His great love for all of eternity with Him. That is why we have a Christmas Day, saints! It is LOVE day!!! Let’s celebrate the love of Jesus as our great first love in all of life!!!
“For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”
Love came down and rescued us from the wages of sin of this world like an assistant to us all – a royal knight in shining armor to take us as His people who have faith in Him, to dwell in His forever Kingdom with Him, so nobody is ever alone. Ponder that great love for us with this song here.
Genesis 2:18-25; John 3:16